Angst

Lost in thought, of a false ambition
Questioning these words of new fancy,
Wondering whether the feelings neutral?
Or if this is just another lost cause.

Bringing me back to feelings once forgotten,
Hidden behind the lies and deceit.
Desolation beginning to overwhelm
As I am bound by these laws.

Why do I feel this for you?
What happened that night?
Is it this feeling of amity, which I fight?

Fooling myself into a state of apathy,
A state without distress, without delight.
Only to have this disposition defeated
To confront what I invite.

I have felt this far too often
Trying to black out the past completely
Escape the feelings that drag me down,
Escape from this ghost.

But now I feel this failing
And again I feel fearful
For amity is what I anticipate,
What I fear the most.

Mark Poole
28/07/06©